The Blessed Quest

In the name of Allah the Almighty, I write. 

Living in a place far away from home has taught me so much about living this life. It would be an unfinished matter if we were to talk about life generally. The perspectives toward it has changed, and I see it clearly with a pair of newly opened eyes. The ukkhuwwah that we have and share with everyone around us here is totally different from its definition I learned when I was in my home country. The tie felt very close and the closeness is actually giving me more opportunity to breathe. In the chaos of catching the wave of the world, Allah has sent me amazing people to remind us, to give us signs of His Glorious love which never stops flowing in our every second and every minute of our day. Deep in my heart I could see the signs, I could feel them, and sometimes I could even touch them.

I never ever want to lose this feeling, the feeling of returning to Allah, and make Him to be above all. The quest to find the Ultimate Love of Allah was once stopped because I was too weak and couldn't fight my own weaknesses which ironically is stronger than me. What I have seen, and what I have heard are not even a drop of knowldege of what He holds for us. I feel stronger when I'm with Allah and I am lost without Him. He never leaves me, it's me who always forgot about him in any given time. Life is never easy and if it is easy for us, we won't be writing and reading this, talking about it.

The Nourished Soul

In the name of Allah, the most Gracious and the most Merciful.

Alhamdulillah, I'm still able to write again. I have not writing for quite some time. I was never as busy as I am now, but I always the chance to write, I had the opportunity to write down my deepest thought here. Though, I was like resricting myself from doing what I should have done when I have all the chances in front of me. I need time to clear upeverything in my mind. Everything is just indescribable. Too much exposure to many things at once gave me a terrible shock. Those things never left my mind, they stay and trigger the feeling of fear inside of me. Yes, I live in fear for quite some time, and I don't have the chance to tell anybody. Not because they are not there, but I made up mind not to breath even a word about it. 

Thus, I'm writing again. This is probably the most effective way for me to let everything out. This time, it won't be the same like any other blogs I had. I'm not writing to share with everybody, I'm writing for myself and I'm writing to communicate with my Creator. The one and only Creator of the Worlds, Allah. I want to spend more time with Him. I found out that writing using pen and paper is now less effective, at least for me, even though I have a diary given as my birthday present last year. Why? Because it's easier to type things out than writing it down on a piece of paper and the most significant answer; because we spend so much time in front of the screen. 

I would like to have a quality time with Allah, even when I am facing the screen, even when I am outside of the house, in town, at the outskirts of town, and most of all, everywhere. Sometimes I couldn't say it out loud when I pray to Allah, and I still couldn't figure out why. 

Hoping this will work out. I'm hoping for the best. This is the time. Insya Allah.

Alhamdulillah.