In the name of Allah, the most Gracious and the most Merciful.
Alhamdulillah, I'm still able to write again. I have not writing for quite some time. I was never as busy as I am now, but I always the chance to write, I had the opportunity to write down my deepest thought here. Though, I was like resricting myself from doing what I should have done when I have all the chances in front of me. I need time to clear upeverything in my mind. Everything is just indescribable. Too much exposure to many things at once gave me a terrible shock. Those things never left my mind, they stay and trigger the feeling of fear inside of me. Yes, I live in fear for quite some time, and I don't have the chance to tell anybody. Not because they are not there, but I made up mind not to breath even a word about it.
Thus, I'm writing again. This is probably the most effective way for me to let everything out. This time, it won't be the same like any other blogs I had. I'm not writing to share with everybody, I'm writing for myself and I'm writing to communicate with my Creator. The one and only Creator of the Worlds, Allah. I want to spend more time with Him. I found out that writing using pen and paper is now less effective, at least for me, even though I have a diary given as my birthday present last year. Why? Because it's easier to type things out than writing it down on a piece of paper and the most significant answer; because we spend so much time in front of the screen.
I would like to have a quality time with Allah, even when I am facing the screen, even when I am outside of the house, in town, at the outskirts of town, and most of all, everywhere. Sometimes I couldn't say it out loud when I pray to Allah, and I still couldn't figure out why.
Hoping this will work out. I'm hoping for the best. This is the time. Insya Allah.