Syahadatul Haq

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

My Sunday has been very meaningful today, with the presence of my beloved sisters in Islam who came to Baitul Imtiyaz and spent their precious time with all of us here, to vigorously gain the knowledge of knowing Islam better together. I am very thankful and glad for being able to seize the opportunity to be in this bi'ah and get to be refresh my experience of attending the Syahadatul Haq sharing, for the second time since the day I walked in this path of tarbiyyah. 

Syahadatul Haq, is our witness over the truth in believing that Allah is the only God and Muhammad s.a.w is His Messenger; is neither just a normal daily speech or merely words uttered by people every single day in their lives, nor it is a simple oath that people need to say when they are reverting to Islam as the sign of their affirmation of faith towards this holy religion. This syahadah is more than that, and this declaration of faith contains the responsibility that every Muslim has to hold and carry in any parts of the world. 

Two times of getting this meaningful sharing gives me the same vibration in my conscious and sub-conscious  little heart as I had last time. I want to go back on track, like I did before, and continue the responsibility that Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. has left for his ummah to survive this dunya and the hereafter, in Allah's will. 

I am the ummah. 

  

The Blessed Quest

In the name of Allah the Almighty, I write. 

Living in a place far away from home has taught me so much about living this life. It would be an unfinished matter if we were to talk about life generally. The perspectives toward it has changed, and I see it clearly with a pair of newly opened eyes. The ukkhuwwah that we have and share with everyone around us here is totally different from its definition I learned when I was in my home country. The tie felt very close and the closeness is actually giving me more opportunity to breathe. In the chaos of catching the wave of the world, Allah has sent me amazing people to remind us, to give us signs of His Glorious love which never stops flowing in our every second and every minute of our day. Deep in my heart I could see the signs, I could feel them, and sometimes I could even touch them.

I never ever want to lose this feeling, the feeling of returning to Allah, and make Him to be above all. The quest to find the Ultimate Love of Allah was once stopped because I was too weak and couldn't fight my own weaknesses which ironically is stronger than me. What I have seen, and what I have heard are not even a drop of knowldege of what He holds for us. I feel stronger when I'm with Allah and I am lost without Him. He never leaves me, it's me who always forgot about him in any given time. Life is never easy and if it is easy for us, we won't be writing and reading this, talking about it.

The Nourished Soul

In the name of Allah, the most Gracious and the most Merciful.

Alhamdulillah, I'm still able to write again. I have not writing for quite some time. I was never as busy as I am now, but I always the chance to write, I had the opportunity to write down my deepest thought here. Though, I was like resricting myself from doing what I should have done when I have all the chances in front of me. I need time to clear upeverything in my mind. Everything is just indescribable. Too much exposure to many things at once gave me a terrible shock. Those things never left my mind, they stay and trigger the feeling of fear inside of me. Yes, I live in fear for quite some time, and I don't have the chance to tell anybody. Not because they are not there, but I made up mind not to breath even a word about it. 

Thus, I'm writing again. This is probably the most effective way for me to let everything out. This time, it won't be the same like any other blogs I had. I'm not writing to share with everybody, I'm writing for myself and I'm writing to communicate with my Creator. The one and only Creator of the Worlds, Allah. I want to spend more time with Him. I found out that writing using pen and paper is now less effective, at least for me, even though I have a diary given as my birthday present last year. Why? Because it's easier to type things out than writing it down on a piece of paper and the most significant answer; because we spend so much time in front of the screen. 

I would like to have a quality time with Allah, even when I am facing the screen, even when I am outside of the house, in town, at the outskirts of town, and most of all, everywhere. Sometimes I couldn't say it out loud when I pray to Allah, and I still couldn't figure out why. 

Hoping this will work out. I'm hoping for the best. This is the time. Insya Allah.

Alhamdulillah.